Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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