I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
