so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
