There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
