i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize