I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
