I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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