i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
