Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
