operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
