Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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