For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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