I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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