you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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