The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
