Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize