I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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