neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize