Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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