So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It all started with a game of naked twister.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
