you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
