16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
