Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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