you guys were way drunker than both of me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
