He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
