I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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