Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
