You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
