I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
