i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
