Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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