Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
