you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
