Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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