no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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