Me too!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
