I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
