So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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