you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
