My first STD was from a foam party
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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