so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
