Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize