His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
