My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize