I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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