wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize