Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
