Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
