8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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