omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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