Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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