I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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