Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
