I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
