U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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