apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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