i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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