things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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