I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
