i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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