Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
