Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
