I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
