not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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