the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
