that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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