Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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