now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
