What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
