He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
