I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think my tv is drunk
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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