im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
