I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
