when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
